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All About Echatere

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Main article: Books (Orsinium)

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When it is time to eat, what fills your belly? Echatere. When it is bitter cold, what clothes your body? Echatere. Never forget that echatere is food, echatere is clothes. This is the first rule of the range.

If an Elf comes to your village and says the echatere is "cute" or "noble"—punch him in the face. Echatere are not cute or noble, but ugly, mean, and pointy. If you fall in love with echatere, echatere kill you. This is the second rule of the range.

You cannot herd echatere without whistling. But whistling makes echatere angry. Still you must do it or you will not eat. We must all do things that could get us killed in order to not die. This is the third rule of the range.

When you slaughter echatere, cut open its throat and catch the blood in a basin. Otherwise, it will rot from the inside. This is not a rule. This is just common sense. You do not want to eat rotten meat.

Of you give a baby echatere a name, then your children will fall in love with it and they will cry when you kill it. So even though it is hard to tell all echatere apart and you want to give them names so that you can tell which is which, name them things like "Dumb-Hamster-Crab" and "Possibly-Poisonous" and "Very-Stabby" but do not give them Orc names or else your children will become soft and hate you for the rest of your life.

These are all the rules of the range. Follow them and your herd will prosper and your bellies will be full and your children will not hate you.

ADDENDUM: One echatere is an echatere. Two are echateres—everyone knows this. But when you herd them all your life, you can say "five echatere over there" because you know they are all the same.

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