- Main article: Books (Morrowind)
- Ebonheart, carried by Gaeldol
- Seyda Neen, Fargoth's House
- Vivec, Foreign Quarter, Jobasha's Rare Books
Why did the Dark Elf cross the road?
How many Orcs does it take to light a torch?
Depends. Is an orc doing the counting?
What is green and hops and sizzles on lava?
an Orc Acrobat
If a Wood Elf mime falls in a forest, who cares?
If you drop a Khajiit head-first from a great height, will it land on its feet?
Not if you cut off the feet first.
- The title of this book is taken from a 1947 novelty song written by Dwight Latham and Moe Jaff, and performed by country music duo Lonzo and Oscar.