- Main article: Books (Dark Brotherhood)
Minutes of the Biweekly Conclave of the Kindly Contrivers of Clavicus Vile, Abanas Smeed reporting.
Eight o'clock: Meeting called to order.
Eight o'one: Meeting called to disorder.
Eight o'five: Shouting subsides.
Eight o'six: First point of order brought before the Conclave, devise appropriate response to the village of Sundercliff's plea for new farming implements before First Seed.
Eight Thirty: Discussion interrupted by unruly fidgeting. You know who you are.
Eight Forty: Fooligan excused to address embarrassing rash. Breakthrough reached in Sundercliff dilemma.
Nine o'clock: Sundercliff proposal brought to vote.
Nine o'five: Sundercliff proposal accepted by majority vote.
Nine Fifteen: Jeering of opposing voters subsides.
Nine Seventeen: Second point of order brought before the Conclave, progress report of cursed soul stone research.
Nine Thirty: Opening haranguing concluded.
Nine Thirty-One: Report started.
Nine Thirty-Two: Report concludes, no significant progress made.
Nine Fifty-Five: Disparaging remarks brought to a close.
Ten o'clock: Moment of pouting silence concludes.
Ten o'one: Third point of order brought before the Conclave, lunch.
Ten Thirty: Consensus on food-like items could not be reached.
Ten Thirty-One: Break suggested, libations uncorked.
Eleven o'clock: Consensus reached that cask may have been a little off. Bedlim excuses himself to engage in a laughing fit.
Eleven o'five: Horrific instance of mass retching takes place.
Eleven Thirty: Mallein loudly proclaims that she wishes she had never been born.
Eleven Thirty-One: Proclamation passes unanimously.
Eleven Fifty: Attendees scrape together five hundred pieces of gold for an offering.
Eleven Fifty-Nine: Lunch consensus reached.
Noon: Conclave adjourns to prepare offering.