Elder Scrolls

The Humor of Wood Elves

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Main article: Books (Online)



Collected by Telenger the Artificer

Vulkwasten, widely known for its fermented beverages, is home to some of the friendliest Bosmer I've ever met. Like most of their kind, they are industrious and get along well with most people. After completing research into their brewing methods, I stayed overnight with a local family.

As a historian, I realize one can learn much about a culture by studying its humor. Therefore, I copied down several of their witticisms for future examination. Perhaps by considering their amusements, we will gain further insight into the mind of the Bosmer.

A skeleton walks into the tavern and says, "I'd like some rotmeth. And a mop."

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.

Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.

Person One: Ask me if I'm a tree.
Person Two: Are you a tree?
Person One: No.

Q. Which side of a raven has the most feathers?
A. The outside.

Q. What has three heads, is ugly, and smells?
A. My mistake! You don't have three heads!

Q. What's light as a feather, but cannot be held for very long?
A. Breath.

Q. Imagine your boat's sinking in slaughterfish-infested waters. How do you survive?
A. Stop imagining!

Q. Why do thunderbugs eat raw meat?
A. They never learned to cook.

Q. Why do bees buzz?
A. Because they can't whistle.


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