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I've been wondering why some silly cow keeps following me everywhere I go.  No matter how fast I leg it away she always catches up with me.  Don't know what's up with her or who pulled her chain but decided I better ask her what it's all about.

'I am your sword and your shield' she said. 

'Cut the crap' I said, 'What you keep following me for?'

'It's either this or back on the game in the boozer in Whiterun and me pimp's gonna get mad', she said. 

'So what you gone and wasted me 500 gold what I give ya?' I asked. 

She hummed and ah-ed a bit then came right out with it.  'Drugs.' 

'Drugs?', I said.  'Got any spare?'.

'Nah, done 'em all'.  That explains the far away look in her eyes, I thought, but why's the mad cow still following me about I still wondered.  'What the fekk is you following me for when you can be lying in some opium den with with a grin on yer face?'

'Need some more cash fer rehab,' she went. 

'You ain't goin' to no rehab, you just wants more drugs, don't ya?' I said.

'Yeah', she replied.

'Well go and fekking get me some.' 

At this point in the game I'm still looking for the command option where I can send the madwoman off to buy me some drugs but there ain't one.  Hey, Bethesda, get yer act together, will ya?  How can this game be properly realistic when the only mind altering substances is Skooma and that just don't cut the mustard?  Back to eating fekking cabbages again I suppose 'coz I gotta save me cheese supply for when I takes on me first dragon, eh?