Me mobile's buggered.  Went all the way up to High Hothgar but still couldn't get a signal.  You'd think in this day and age that Bethesda would've installed a couple of phone masts for us busy dragonborn professionals so we can keep up to date with our investment stocks and phone the missus in Riften occasionally, wouldn't ya?  She'll get worried and start fretting and I'll have to waste me money and buy her some more flowers 'coz I think she ate the last lot.

The Jarl of Whiterun's right pissed off.  He got his new smartphone sent in from Amazon, 'coz they's cheap, and he couldn't get nuffink on it.  No signal, no internet, no nuffinck.  He wants me to go up some mountain to have a word with some bandits or other to see what their signal's like but I'm a bit worried.  What happens if they gets shirty and starts on me madwoman what keeps following me with the battleaxe?  She ain't one to be messed with, you know, and I'd simply hate to see some-one get hurt over a little misunderstanding over mobile phone coverage in Whiterun.

What with all the adverts on TV telling me I can get cheap broadband for six months if I switch to them you'd think Vodaphone would have a line or two into Skyrim, wouldn't ya?  Not like them to miss an opportunity to line their pockets, is it?  I reckon Vodaphone's waiting to see who wins that bloody silly civil war then they are gonna offer the winner a contract to use a bit of their land to launch a couple of satellites.  Bit hard launching spaceships when there's arrows and stuff flying about, innit?  They might get a puncture in the rocket and have to abort take off and have a bit of a rethink about the whole idea.  Maybe Vodaphone is the bandits what the Jarl wants me to go and sort out for him.  

Hope they fix it in time for Edler Scrolls Online else it ain't gonna be very online is it?