Got it wrong again, didn't I?
Oh deary, deary me. Where's me sparks? Ain't got none that's what.
Apparently there's a free sparks spell book somewhere in Helgen what I should 'ave grabbed on me way through at the beginning. Oops. Was far too busy evading bandits and assorted 'orrible thingies to go hunting for books. Besides, none of the books in Skyrim have a colouring in section so they's all a bit naff. And I really don't give a hoot who done what to who and what with and stuff years ago. I ain't playing it years ago, I'm playing it now. Keeping on looking backwards does things to yer brain, just ask that bloke what got his head chopped off at the beginning. He read history books and it all went to his head and then he decided to take over the world for a giggle. Well, he won't be buying no more books, will he? He's all dead and that's a bit of a handicap in this game when it comes to buying more books. Kinda stuffs up taking over the world when you is dead, dunnit? Wonder if the dead geezer managed to take his library books back else there'll be a big bill and he will get told off. Maybe a quest to return his library books could be added to the next installment.
One thing about Skyrim....you have to keep starting again and again 'coz you've not done somefink you should've done but didn't know. Hoping to get to level 2 one day in the future. Got to admit though...the scenery on the way down the hill to Riverwood is very nice if you are into gardening. Might actually get to Riverwood one day. Can't wait to use their cinema 'coz there's a new movie about Gravity on and it got so many Oscars it's bound to be on in Riverwood, eh? Skyrim is one of the few places TESCO hasn't applied to open a superstore in. Bit slack really. I'd sack the folks at TESCOs for that 'coz they is paid to start shops everywhere in the universe. Maybe there's a mod I can use for me own superstore with multilevel parking and discounted petrol.
Had to turn back just before I got to Riverwood last time 'coz one-one said 'Guardian Stones' whatever they are. Aparently I walked right past them just now. THAT'S BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T PUT UP A BIG ENOUGH SIGN SAYING: LOOK YOU BLIND BUGGER...BIG STONES THAT WAY'. And how the hell are we mere mortals meant to carry one of those buggers around with us all day?
So, turned round and went back up the hill. Then got scoffed by wolves. Really must learn how to shoot that firey stuff out of me fingers 'coz then at least I can have a ciggie 'coz me nerves is shot to pieces with all this hard work up and down that bloody hill. Might just sit at the top outside Helgen and wait for the bus.
Wow, doesn't this game need careful strategy and planning? Seen all the videos and info on Wiki sites and stuff. Really handy for telling you what you SHOULD HAVE DONE aren't they? What about one what says: ' Oy,YOU BLOODY IDIOT, DON'T DO THAT or you'll be walking back up that bloody hill to HELGEN again. DO THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and don't forget to get that stupid magic book or you'll be WELL BUGGERED AGAIN'. Doesn't actually matter that much but at least it might help get down to Riverwood with all the stuff you are meant to have 'COZ WITHOUT IT YOU CAN'T BEAT UP ANY DRAGONS AND THEY IS BIGGER THAN YOU.
And why is all that armour left all over the place in Helgen? Looks quite nice .doesn't it. Wonder what it's for?
Oh well, back to the drawing board....