Curb your Skyrim.
So after a long day of killing bandits I decided to go home and drink some ale with my wife. As I go to the kitchen to get the ale I find out my ale is missing. An argument ensues one that I cannot win because she's my wife and she's always right. So I say f-it I'll be the good samaritan and report this to a guard. When I find a guard he starts going on about someone stealing my sweet roll and I say "no you idiot my ale." Then he says he took an arrow to the knee, so I say "I don't care about your knees I took a arrow to the face you don't hear me complaining." Long story short he fails to acknowledge my complaint so I punch him in the face. Apparently it's a crime to hit a useless guard who says he will help you for being dragonborn then …