They say you can't take back words once they've been said, but I have found the way in Skyrim. ...and it was NOT easy! 

For weeks I have been trying different pc command fixes in an attempt to take back those fatal words in Skyrim's Bonds of Matrimony marriage quest ...if you can call getting a meal and a bit of spare change from someone who sits around your house with your housecarl/steward all day marriage.

Personally I think the developers had some passing strange marriage role models, but be that as it may. I was tired of getting the cold shoulder from someone I had the hots for in this game! I'm not too proud to admit it.

So, if you've accidentally or otherwise chosen the "I never loved you anyway" option because a quest or some bug interrupted your nuptials, I have found the fix, tested it, and found it successful and stable.

I have no flying mammoths and no disappearing body parts as with other attempted fixes. Vorstag is staying with me, and the Companions aren't ambushing us on the road and trying to kill us. The dialogue is appropriate and interesting. He doesn't even complain about the chill in caves any more! 

Even though there are only two commands, the order in which they are entered is not only intuitively sensical, but vital to the success of the process. Here goes. (If you know how to do pc commands I've added just the actual commands at the bottom of the post. You can skip all this middle stuff.)

For the less initiated, what follows is more step by step:


Be sure you're wearing your Amulet of Mara. VITAL.

Enter the command screen (if you haven't done that before you hit the tilde which looks like this:  ~  )

That will bring up a somewhat opaque area on the lower area of your screen. 

Target your marriage partner to be. Make sure the number that comes up isn't something  like 000014. If that happens click it one more time and you should get a number that has more variability and possibly a letter in it. 

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Other places recommend to do this last but DO IT FIRST. There are only two commands but they must be done in this order.

With your marriage interest still targeted type in the following:

setrelationshiprank player 4

This will set your rank in the 'eyes' of your particular marriage candidate as high as possible, making it most likely they will recognize the Amulet of Mara.

Then hit enter.

Then type in:

addfac 19809 1

This command allows for the resumption of the marriage quest by restarting the Amulet recognition dialogue. If this does not happen immediatly upon your first contact with your person of interest my guess is that for some reason the fix h as failed for you. You can try setting your NPC's relationship rank to 4, but that can cause risky/unruly behavior, so should only be used as a last resort.

Hit Enter.

Hit tilde.  ~

If you've done all the steps as I've outlined here, you should have a fresh start with your person of choice, provided they are marriagable. It is 'possible' it may work with people not usually intended for marriage, but in my (all consuming and relentless) searching over the past few weeks I have seen several sources warn that doing so can cause some really buggy behaviour. I don't recommend it. 

If you're already married, I do not know if you can use this technique to marry a second person. I offer this only as a means to get past that horrible "I never loved you anyway" bug. 

Best wishes for a long and successful adventuring partnership. Just remember, Vorstag was MINE first!  ~.^


Make sure you're wearing your Amulet of Mara.

Enter the following commands in this order:

Target marriage partner after entering command mode.  ~

setrelationshiprank player 4


addfac 19809 1


~ to exit

Congratulatioins--he or she now finds you attractive again! Many happy returns!

Final thought:  The marriage dialoge should begin immediately with your first contact with your person of interest. If this does not happen a possible fix could be to set their relationship rank to 4 also, but from what I have read that overrides your natural relationship with the NPC (which we hae already done in part in this process) ...but when you set the NPC's rank to 4 they can get unruly at times if they're the type to do so. Just a warning. It should not be necessary and was not for me, but I'm trying to think ahead in the case that others may have issues. Again, best wishes.

Feedback on how this went for you would be much appreciated.

Faedinout (talk) 13:29, July 20, 2013 (UTC)