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Lo and behold, the first DLC for Skyrim is released, bringing with it a plethora of new quests and a few new locations to explore. It's like a little kid growing up. Or a tumor.

In one of the first quests, you meet one pretty "young" (Oldness level: God) Vampire named Serana. She aids you along the questline as you (spoiler spoiler spoiler). Serana is an amazing companion to have. She's an essential character, meaning she cannot die, her spells pack quite a bit of a wallop, and she's easy on the eyes, too. She's a great character to have alongside you. Upon investigation of Serana's character, one could notice, that, no matter how much you may want to, you cannot marry Serana.

Now why does that suck so hard?

To answer this question, we need to look at everybody else that you can marry in Skyrim. Most of them, given the vastness of the game, are not particularly focused on in the realm of who they are. If you were like me (which most of you are), you married someone in Skyrim simply for business benefits. You could have tried to screw the Riverwood Trader over by repeatedly taking the Golden Claw and selling it back, or maybe you just wanted a steady income. Nevertheless, every other person that you can marry in Skyrim is basically the same. A means to an end. Usually money.

Business Points Added: 10

Total Points for business: 10

So then Serana comes along, and it's a totally new ball park. You meet this (hot) new character who, right off the bat (haha), has her own voice actor. They didn't just re-hash the same voice as Lydia for Serana's lines. They actually got a new person to do it. As you progress along the storyline, however, you actually learn about this character. You learn about the pain and heartbreak she suffered from living with parents who were in their own worlds and wars. You actually figure out this character's backstory. You learn about not the drab businessman/woman, but an actual person.

As the story progresses and it nears to the end you realize, in one line from her traitorous father, "Holy crap. This character's kind of into my character." And then, boom. You want to marry this chick.

So why does the matter suck so much? Because Bethesda actually put time and effort into creating a genuinely likable, strong, relatively dynamic, different character. You actually watch this character "grow up," if you will, similar to Ubisoft and Ezio Auditore, resulting into a much greater attachment to said character. You actually like this character, and, for the first time, you don't want to marry the character because of business. You want to marry the character because you actually like her.

Points added for looks: 10

Points added for Voice: 5

Pity points: 5

Personality/Backstory Points: 20

Total points: 40

But Bethesda said "No." Why? Because temples creep her out. Yeah. Screw you too, Bethesda.