(Madman Tonight is filmed in front of a live studio audience)
(Dave and Madman are sitting down, palms under their chins in thought)
Madman97: Was, but he already had an interview. I want to do someone wholly unexpected and somewhat obscure. But who?
Madman97 (chuckling): Vacated the premises, I'm afraid. Hmm...(Madman97 points to one of the camera crew) You! Intern! Come up here!
(She does so hesitantly and sits down in the interviewee chair)
Madman97: Ah damn, I could've asked Draevan! Ah well, since you're already here...What's this one's name, Dave?
Dave (checking clipboard): Uh, this is Kora Stormblade--Been around since about...eh...July 30th, member of the Stormcloaks, fan of Walrus's, the usual untouched profile page stuff. Quite obscure; becoming chat regular.
Madman97 (stroking his devilishly handsome beard): Hmm...I suppose this is one I could do. After all, guerilla journalism is top market these days. Still, that doesn't make me feel like I half-a$$ed this one, but since I am lacking in content and have a desire to interview users who would never had gotten the opportunity to do so before, this is suitable. However, given the nature of the content within Kora's profile, I think I might have a hard time personalizing questions.
Dave: You said it yourself. Guerilla style is top market.
Madman97: Quite right, Dear Davey. Well, I suppose we can get this show started then tonight on...
Madman97: So...Kora. Ahem. Uh...Boxers or Briefs?
Dave: Yeah, you can go ahead and just tell us about yourself. As much or as little as you'd like.
Kora Stormblade (facing Dave): Well, I am in a top band in high school--
Dave (pointing at Madman97): At him, please.
Kora Stormblade (readjusting): II am in a top band in high school and play clarinet.
(Ooh-ing from the crowd)
Kora Stormblade: I'm a huge band nerd, but all the practice has paid off since I am usually picked out to be one of the top players! However, I try not brag about it much. I don't like doing that. I uh...hmm...I like cookies and cream ice cream, and Chinese noodles! I also have a knack for drawing really well too, but not many people know that...
Madman97: Well, people will know now! And since you've been kind enough to reveal your hobbies in high school, I'll tell you mine. I used to play alto saxophone in high school. I could play Just Dance, by Lady Gaga. Sadly, that was the extent of my skill...Which begs me to ask, how good would you say you were at playing Clarinet?
Squidward level or ...some...famous clarinet guy...
Kora Stormblade: I think I'm on a good path. My director hinted at me trying for state, and in our top band, we have five 1st clarinets; me being one of them. I also try and lead by example, so I've had people notice me in a good way, which is great!
Madman97 (nodding approvingly): Excellent, excellent.
Kora Stormblade: Aww, thank you!
On Elder Scrolls
Madman97: Now that we know your hobbies and I have regained confidence in myself to further delve into this...odd interview, I think we can move on to how you came to the Elder Scrolls. It's something I ask everyone, but it is fundamental as to why we're here in the first place. I don't suppose your musical talents in any way influenced your interest in it? Probably not, but eh, I've seen weirder things happen.
Kora Stormblade: Nah, but to be honest, I actually had no idea Skyrim existed, until my sibling brought it up and insisted I play it. At first, I put it off, thinking it was just a shooter game or something--
Kora Stormblade: --Then I picked it up one day, and for the next two years, I wasn't able to put it down. Of course, I don't play it as much because band has me occupied, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Madman97: I picked my copy of the game on the recommendation of a friend. I had not yet heard of the Elder Scrolls. Good to see I am not the only one. But I have loved Bethesda games ever since. Have you had a chance to get Fallout 4? It's absolutely wonderful. Dave: Tip for all those who have started the Minutemen quests and got like eighteen settlements in the first couple hours. Stick to a couple before you expand, at least until you can establish solid caravan routes, because they can get pretty tough to manage when you've drained all your resources into making one--Mine on Sanctuary Hills, to be exact--an impenetrable fortress, and the others are left without food or water or beds and they're all like, "NYAHH NYAHH WE'RE DYING NYAHH NYAHH." Buncha' whiners...
Madman97: I literally spent the first few hours just tossing the rubbish and building from the ground up. Every tree, every tin can...Kora?
Kora Stormblade: Not yet, but I hear a lot of good things about it, and I'm curious to see how it will actually live up to all of its hype. I need to check in and see how it looks then. Even though I haven't played much of the Fallout games, I hear how well some of them turn out, so I'll try and look into this one.
Dave: Definitely worth the sixty bucks. Some people online are saying, "NYAAHH IT'S NOT REALLY FALLOUT" because of a few minor gripes, but don't let that dissuade you. Plenty of good stuff.
Madman97: So many hours spent on settlements...Alright, next question. My dear, Dave says you're becoming a chat regular. Do you like the community here? Is it inviting? Is it not? Are there...(gasp)...rabble-rousers? People you have trouble getting along with?
Kora Stormblade: There will always be rabble-rousers. That can't ever be helped, but the way to handle them always can. Most of the community has been wonderful, especially when I was new and didn't know anything. To be honest, the one person who I had trouble getting along with was Shawn at first--
Dave and Madman97: Oh! Shots fired!
Kora Stormblade:--but of course, that eventually went away.
Dave and Madman97: Boo, no flame war!
Kora Stormblade: I consider him to be a great addition to this wiki, even if he may be a bit more blunt than the rest of us. He's still been friendly and helpful.
Madman97: Shawn is blunt, but if anything else, it's nice for someone to be totally honest with you, even if the things they say aren't necessarily the things you'd want to hear. NEXT QUESTION!
Madman97: How versed are you in the ancient texts of pre-2000s game lore?
Kora Stormblade: Uhh...I'm ok at it, but--
Err, Not On Lore
Madman97 (leaning back in his chair): Besides, we just had a mindf*ck of a lore discussion in our last interview. We want to try something new.
Kora Stormblade: Ah sorry, lore was never something I was fantastic about. I need to read [Bluesonic1's] then. Sounds interesting !
Madman97: In your own time, intern. You're still on the clock. What's another question I like asking? Something that pertains to the game...Oh yeah, what style of playthrough do you prefer?
Kora Stormblade: Hmm..Well, usually I just jump in a game and try not to die first, then once I get the handles on it, I basically run around and see what I can do. Once I get good enough at it, I start to have more fun, like see how I can handle with a certain build and try and roleplay with that a bit ( Criminal Orc using magic, or a Khajiit using big weapons and stick with just those), something along the lines of that. Pretty much just anything that feels right with the game, I do it.
Madman97: I'm glad you have time to do that, because I've had the same character since September 11th, 2011. Good or evil? What's your preference?
Kora Stormblade: Why not both, or neither? I know that's not the best answer, of course, but being good all the time can get fairly boring, even if it's for the best sometimes. Being evil can be quite entertaining and enjoyable, gives different opportunities and points of view, but isn't exactly for the best (unless it's for yourself). For me, I like being in the gray neutral zone, that way I can see both sides of things and not have to be tied to one or another.
Madman97: To me, a player is not judged by the deeds he has done for the forces of good or for the blistering evil that gibbers and gnaws at the edges of black infinity. No child. To me, what makes a player truly worthy of the title of Dragonborn...is finally nailing that f*cking eagle in Solitude with a bow.
Kora Stormblade (laughing): I always enjoyed doing that; glad to see I'm not the only one who loved to stick an arrow in those guys.
Madman97: Dave, have we reached minimal run-time?
Dave: By a couple seconds.
Madman97 (straightening his tie made from the flesh of his enemies--and friends--to give it some character): Good, good. Then my dear, I think you have provided us with more than enough entertainment for one night. Thank you so much for being so compliant.
Kora Stormblade: No problem! Thank you for asking me about it! I had a lot of fun with this
Madman97: Yeah, yeah, don't expect us to automatically hire you after your internship program is over. Now get back to work!
(Kora salutes Madman97 and Dave and walks off stage to resume her role as part-time camerawoman)
(Madman Tonight is brought to you in part by the Westborough Baptist Church)