(Madman Tonight is filmed in front of a live studio audience)
Madman97: Good evening everyone, and welcome to another episode of Madman Tonight!
Madman97: And let's give a big hand for my friend Dave over here.
Dave: Why do I even do this anymore?
Madman97: Why does anyone do anything do anymore Dave? We live in a nation marred by an inept government, live in a world where bigotry, famine, and Kanye West--the single most derogatory thing to black culture since Vanilla Ice and the Rodney King beatings (Get Him To The Greek, anyone?)--run rampant with no one to stop it. There's nothing but controversy and sham.
Dave: The human condition is a fascinating thing. It makes us keep fighting even if all hope is gone. I...Wait, what are we doing?
Madman97: I don't know, but now that you mention the human condition, there are a few questions I want to ask a certain user that had escaped the sight of Emperor Jarjarkine's interviews.
Dave: You don't mean...
Madman97: Oh, I mean. Ladies and Gentlemen, can we please welcome Mr. Shawn Howell to the stage, or as you will see his username, ShawnCognitionCP. Just like before, this is a lengthy piece, so it will be split up into separate sections so you don't have to read all at once. Give him a hand as we have him here tonight on...
(A well-dressed, probably Minecraft t-shirt-wearing glasses memelord ((Just trying to envision what he looks like in real life)) walks up onto the stage and sits down)
Madman97: Unfortunately, we were going to pair Shawn up with another historic user, SuperSajuuk, considering the two have been inseparable on this website and often find common ground, but due to inactivity reasons, he has respectfully declined to be here, but as a sign of good faith, the door will always be open for him as it will be for every user who wants to be interviewed, so we hope to see him here soon.
Madman97: But the show must go on, and for our next guest, I could think of no one better to interview than our own Shawn here, who has had a storied membership here on this website. Now Dave, we were just talking about the human condition, weren't we?
Dave: Oh yes.
Madman97: And in these difficult times when the right or wrong thing seems confusing, sometimes it takes something blunt to force a dislocated arm back into place, even if there is some crying involved--
NOTE: Madman Tonight does not officially endorse untrained persons on hand to attempt forcing a dislocated limb back into place. It could end rather badly.
Madman97: And for those of you who know Shawn, you know he's a blunt and to-the-point kind of guy with all of its ups and downs, but I think instead of sitting here gabbing on about it, let's ask the man himself.
Madman97: While I want to do my best to personalize the questions to the user, there are indeed some that are necessary to ask everyone and in particular, I am interested to know what made you choose this site, Shawn. You've been very vocal in the past that the UESP is the better of the two, so why this one?
Shawn: I actually came to this wiki in general, after being banned from a Creepypasta wiki for a month.
Dave: Already off on an excellent start there.
Shawn: I'd used this wiki for over a year by then, so I decided to join the chat. As far as the UESP/This Wiki thing goes, yes. UESP has us beat in their pages, especially in lore. The community of this wiki is the entire reason for staying, along with the problem itself. If we need more lore help, people who know lore should give help. I teach it in chat, whilst talking to other users. We can only improve our wiki, and any and all improvement is positive.
Madman97: Right you are. Any improvement is welcome. It's a question I asked our last guests on the show, our two new Chat Mods QueenFinelia and RenzXVI: How would you improve this website from where it is now? While they gave a suitable response, perhaps they could use the advice of a more experienced moderator. Everyone, Shawn was once a Chat Moderator before resigning--He liked his job and the people supported him--and though he wasn't in the position long, maybe he could have something useful for them. Shawn? Two-pence for your thoughts?
Shawn: To Finelia and Renz? Don't wait to ban already proven trolls. That was an issue that has already occurred. I've offered assistance to both, and either can PM me, or leave a talk page message if they have any questions. Best piece of advice- Don't take sh*t. You have it pretty well, now. The administrators that are left are our best. The corrupt ones are gone. The users whom were the worst, have left. You have the new community. If either of these two things comes back, deal with it. Just because an admin is higher in rank, doesn't mean you let what they do slide. You have a say.
Dave: Power to the people.
Madman97: That's funny that you say that, Shawn, because earlier today when I was gathering data for the interview, I was speaking with one of the Admins here, Atvelonis, who was working on a project in a sandbox that was dedicated to chronicling the events of this wiki and I read up again on the ugly incident between our old Admin Jimeee and some other users that resulted from a disagreement on user rights.
Dave: Fight the man, man.
Madman97: It was an interesting trip down memory lane and I think a history page is a fantastic idea because it can serve as an example for something to avoid down the road. And frankly, Shawn is right. Renz and Queen have an entirely new generation of users to moderate, most of them nice enough, and a lot of old X-gen users up and gone because of disagreements. Shawn, you and I both know well that people don't always see eye to eye with guys like us. There's been more than a few occasions when we didn't even agree on anything. While that's hopefully all water under the bridge as we move forward, it astounds me you've stuck around. Relating to the first question and the human condition, is there something about this site, something we just can't put a finger on, that keeps us here? Keeps us fighting to have ourselves heard?
Shawn (shrugging): I debate with a lot of people, and argue with a lot of others. I am very blunt in my views, and people tend to know exactly what I think of them. You and I have fought, because we disagreed. Both of us were blunt, and both of us defended what we thought. As far as I'm concerned, it was nothing personal at all. I was fighting against your points, not you. As for what aspect of this keeps me around, the new community in general seems to have an interest in learning, know when is right to do certain things, and when to stop doing others. It's a strange transformation that was fun to watch. For instance, Kora manages to get all the others to converse well. Renz manages to keep a pretty good eye. Finelia seems good at calming people down. It's sort of like a self sustaining hive, with each part fueling the rest.
Dave: I have to admit, the community these days seems a lot nicer than it was in our darker times.
Madman97: And it is good to see that some find worth in this new community, and perhaps that is the human condition. We know things are bad now, and some will quit, but there are some who know that we can do better next time. When gathering data to assist in the creation of the history page, I took a look at Jimeee's main page. What a legacy this guy has left behind. The incidents were a black mark on this community. But there was something he said that resonated with me. "If this wiki was worth fighting for, I would. In its current state, it's not."In its current state. But for those who rode out the wind and thunder, the storm cleared...and I can see the green grass...
Dave (clears throat rather loudly)
Madman97: Oh sorry, where were we? Oh yeah, Shawn! Jeez, I almost forgot you were here.
On Elder Scrolls
Madman97: Before I begin bawling at the seriousness of these questions, let's move on to something that we can all certainly agree on: Our love of the Elder Scrolls. I haven't actually played any of the games for over a year--
Dave: I quit ESO like a month after it came out.
Madman97:--but that shouldn't stop our enthusiasm. Shawn, it says in your profile you are a loremaster, a member of the Imperial Legion, and an expert on the games. You've even tested your blogging chops (which can be seen here: http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:ShawnHowellsCP/The_Empire_vs_Stormcloaks,_the_most_likely_answer)
Madman97: So let's get into the more divisive depths of the Elder Scrolls. Many users, myself included, often favor the Stormcloaks for their ideals despite some racist claims. What is your stance now? Same as it was at the time of writing your blog on the subject?
Shawn: My stance for the Imperial Legion stands just as it did back then. Not just because of the military strength, but the possibilities that could occur from their control again. If Landfall makes it into the next game, (if not, most likely the next), the Stormcloaks wouldn't be able to give any form of resistance.
Madman97 (sniffing): Ugh...I smell Kirkbride.
Dave: I went on the site where they released C0DA and hoped it would be there with pictures this time, but no, still just text. Weird @$$ text. But I liked C0DA. Cool space adventure. Do I think it will make it into the Elder Scrolls games? Nah. Not really. I'd honestly be very surprised, maybe even a little disappointed.
Madman97: Yeeeeeeeeaaaaahhh, me too. Actually, the return of the Numidium event itself could be cool to live through, but I think the story afterward on Elder Scrolls Mars would be a little creepy. Especially after seeing concept art of Vivec as a hermaphrodite...Nasty...Moving right along. Shawn, since you have a strong stance with the Imperials, if you were the Emperor at the time of Skyrim, what would you do?
Shawn: Kill the lamb by severing the head. If the Towers are protected, the Aldmeri Dominion are fought back, and the Stormcloaks assimilate into the Imperial Legion as a sort of splinter faction with West Skyrim as capital territory, that's less chance for the end.
Dave: I think we wanted a little more details on how to stop the Thalmor than just saying beat them back, but I guess the Towers are important too.
Madman97: I actually buy the Towers more than I buy C0DA or Landfall from happening. But we're getting into some heavy lore stuff. Here's an average question I like seeing the different answers from. Dwemer. Shawn, where did those uppity rascals skedaddle off too?
Shawn: The Dwemer were fused into the skin of the Numinduim. They are long gone, and no longer a part of existence. Of course, we know of the Dwemer we met in Morrowind, Yagrum Bagarn. He wasn't there for that event. If more followed like that, perhaps more lived. It's either that, or Numinduim erased them. We saw him erase every Race of Men (Sorry, Nord and Imperial fans, along with the rest) and High Elves in C0DA. One attack is all it takes.
Madman97: Mmm. Dave? Thoughts? You're the Kirkbride lover.
Dave: The Dwemer are...eh to me. I don't really have a definitive answer, so I'm just going to wait for the games to tell me. That's really the only canon we go by anyway.
Madman97: BORING! Last but not least with our mention of the games, I was going to ask Shawn if he has ever heard of Wabbajack Grinding, but since I don't like repeating questions to other users, I am going to return to our ranty roots, just for a moment.
(Madman97 snaps his fingers and appears in full Sheogorath regalia with a cane while sitting on a throne)
Madman97: The games have a lot of problems. If there was anything you could do to improve them, what would it be?
Shawn: If I could improve the games in any way, it would have to be core mechanics. Unarmed combat that actually feels aggressive, and includes some form of combos. Melee weapons that have more than a few ways to swing them. Spells that feel more damaging, and have larger scale effects. With Fallout 4 improving all of its mechanics, I have no doubt TES is next to do so.
Madman97: Funny answer again, because I was overcome with nostalgia and reading through my old blogs and someone suggested in the comments that I do a Wabbajack Grinding episode on the core mechanics of the game and I never did.
Dave: Holy crap, really? I would've thought that would be number five at least.
Madman97: Nope, that was http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Madman97/You_know_what_really_grinds_my_Wabbajack%27s%3F_The_Misplace_of_Value_in_Skyrim. Check it out.
Dave: Advertisement whore.
Madman97: And with that, that concludes another interview. Let's give Shawn a big round of applause and good night to you all!
(This program is brought to you by our sponsors: Arkay, Yugioh Abridged, and McDonalds)