Madman97: Hey there everybody, Madman97 here with regular guest with me today, our friend Dave, Dave how are you?
Dave: Ready to kick your @$$ on this.
Madman97: And just like that, folks, we are jumping into the point of this blog. Allow me to divulge, me and Dave are obviously pumped for the Elder Scrolls Online which is coming out next year, and we are so far liking everything we are hearing about it. You can play with people online, go all across Tamriel, you can even conquer Cyrodil. I mean imagine, you actually becoming emperor and your renowned amongst the different players of the world, something that will be incredibly hard to do, but I'm Madman97, so I'll do it anyway. Tamriel shall be drowned in the rant.
Dave: So anyway, and that's not true, we don't like EVERYTHING we are hearing, but we'll get to that, we are all super excited with playing with our buddies online and conquering Tamriel together, and that's where me and Madman97 started to see a problem.
Madman97: Mainly put, he supports the Daggerfall Covenant, while I support the Ebonheart Pact, WHICH IS TOTAL BULLS***! Redguards, Bretons, and Orcs, race rejects nobody likes all put into a loser squad!
Dave: (Points at Madman97) You are Not going to say anything about race rejects mister. Mr. Argonian over here.
Madman97: Cheap shot! It's all about the Nords.
Dave: Spoken like a true Nord.
Madman97: Alright, racial choices aside, as I do have a sort of fondness for the Redguards, but that's all I like about the Daggerfall Covenant, what does the Covenant have that is so dang awesome about it? High Rock? Sure, the location may be interesting, but all I would really be interested in seeing is the Alik'r Desert.
Dave: He's a desert lover folks. At least we get to see these things in full detail, Daggerfall for instance, in full detail now, which is new and exciting, plus places we have never been before, rather than just going back to Skyrim, which to me has outstayed its welcome, and Morrowind did a decent enough job at the graphics for its time so we have a good idea what it looks like. The only new place you guys get is Black Marsh, and from everything people say about it in the game, you basically know the layout of it already. Deep jungles, pretty easy to imagine. With the images released for it, you get the drift of kind of Mayan feel to the architecture of Stormhold. I'll give you one thing, the Ebonheart Pact controls the largest landmass in Tamriel in the ESO timeline as of now, but not when I am finished with you.
Madman97: Yeah, you guys get puny little High Rock, Hammerfell, and Orsinium.
Dave: Do not give me that S***. About two weeks ago when you were writing a Wabbajack Grinding episode on lack of culture within Skyrim, you told me that you wanted to see Hammerfell when you saw the images released. Again, Desert lover folks!
Madman97: Alright, so the Redguards do interest me. But I really couldn't give less of a s*** about the Bretons or the Orcs.
Dave: Orcs? Fine. I really have never cared for them. But the Bretons interest me a heck of a lot more than the freaking Nords, after we have had the Nordic Culture shoved down our throat by Skyrim, something you ranted about yourself on that one Wabbajack Episode about Lack of Culture, you cannot deny that you want to see something else. You are so bored of the Nords!
Madman97: I didn't join just for the Nords. I admit, their culture to me is just kind of "Ok, I get it. Nords, Vikings, Hooray," nowadays. But then there is Morrowind. You have to remember, I have never played Morrowind. I have no idea what Vhardenfell or however you spell it looks like, what Mournhold looks like. Admit it, you want to see Mournhold! It looks awesome! Then there is Black Marsh. True, I have never cared much for the Argonians as well, but we both know we both want to see Black Marsh.
Dave: Ok, maybe location wasn't the best argument to start out with, because if we did have a choice in the matter, we would pack our bags and head straight to Elsweyr, but since we basically are, "F*** the Aldmeri Dominion above all else" -
Madman97: (laughs) Yeah, we really don't like the Aldmeri Dominion. Khajiit are ok, but the other two, no.
Dave: It's just because their mindset is that they are basically better than everyone else and deserve to rule, not a very good cause. Oh wait, that reminds me of a certain race, what was it? Oh yeah, THE NORDS.
Madman97: Don't-don't bring that bulls*** in. It's Ulfric dude. Ulfric. He's a douche. That's it. The Nord's see themselves as the rightous rulers of Tamriel because they freaking conquered it before and unified the entire continent! They broke the power of the Aeylid's, and they actually have the only right to rule as far as I am considered.
Dave: Come on man. It is not just Ulfric. While most arguments start with Ulfric's questionable motives, my arguments against the Nords have to do with ALL of them, not just one leader who I admit, is not that bad. I mean sure, he may not do a lot about existing problems such as the Grey Slums or whatever in Windhelm, but I still think he is kind of a good leader. But that other stuff? Nord propaganda dude. They got you wrapped around their fingers man! The Breton King in this, I am blanking out on his name, actually has a good reason as to why he is fighting. Because Cyrodil got f***ed up by Molag Bal worshippers, I think that's what the story behind it is, trade was cut off, and the prosperiy of the nation was in jeopardy, so they need to restore the balance of things so people could live in peace and butterflies and sunshine and S***!
Madman97: Laaaaaaaaammmme! We all know were conquering Cyrodil to appeal to our testerone. We don't give a s*** about this "restore the peace" stuff. And sure, fine, I was hasty in stabbing at Ulfric. The guy gets bullied enough already. When I conquer Cyrodil and become the Emperor, I will hold it indefinitly until people get so fed up they just give up. And you know me. If you somehow do conquer Cyrodil, which trust me, would be a freaking miracle, I will never let your prosperity return!
Dave: I said the Covenant had a good cause man, not that I actually cared. Half of this is because I like the idea of half-men, half-elves ruling the chair because it's the bridge between two races, so that both Nords and Elves can appeal to the idea, and we can bring Tamriel to peace. Even if it will never happen because there will always be those players who just attack Cyrodil on their own, which is probably what is going to happen. Your going to get a little band together, race to Cyrodil on day one of the games release, and conquer it before anyone else has time to even adjust to the new controls, and just have it there.
Madman97: In any case, Daggerfall sucks, Ebonheart Pact is awesome. It's not just Nords man. I always had a soft spot for the Dunmer to. Morrowinds culture is just so fascinating, plus even if I don't care about the Argonians, maybe its because I havn't really seen enough of them, and now I can finally appreciate them. Plus, my faction is going to be ten times more interesting than your Trading nonsense. The Ebonheart Pact is the most politically unstable faction because it harbors old enemies, with the Nords really just kind of disliked by all, the Argonians who were slaves to the Dunmer, and the Dunmer, who really just don't like anybody, and this will make for interesting story. Power grabs, betrayal, Elder Scrolls Game of Thrones. Which is essentially what the game is.
Dave: Basically an apology for not wrapping up the Civil War story in Skyrim.
Madman97: That's another thing motherf***er! This guy! Everytime there is a faction based thing, he always disagrees. I like Stormcloaks, he likes Imperials, I like Mages, he likes normal sword warriors, I dislike Bretons, he doesn't. We both love Khajiit, but it looks like we are really not having much in common. (Turns to Dave and holds up hand) JOIN THE EBONHEART PACT. WE HAVE ASH YAMS AND THU'UM!
Dave: Nope, you are not persuading me. Honestly though, we really have only a limited amount of information to really make an argument anyway, so I think we just reached a point where we stop arguing and just talk about what we dislike in the game we have heard.
Madman97: Only two things for me. One is Subscription fees. Are you f***ing kidding me?! It's ElderScrolls! What a Cash Grab. Your gonna make millions off of the sales of the title alone, why would you need subscriptions?
Dave: That's how it is for an MMO I suppose.
Madman97: The next thing is a gripe you and me both share. The graphics look a little bit more...cartoony for some reason. Maybe its the style of animation, maybe its the 3D models, but...it just looks like they are going a little less real looking route. Kind of like Wind Waker.
Dave: Not on that level but I get what you are saying. Before we have an opinion on anything, we really need to get our hands on the game first. We signed up for the Beta but never got a response. Douchebags.
Madman97: Maybe if I told them I am the owner of the Wabbajack Grinding series, they would have let us play.
Dave: "Oh hey guys. I run a S***ty rant series on a website I don't think a single employee of Bethesda itself has ever been on and really are not open to suggestions, and I think I would be a tremendous help on the game!"
Madman97: Honestly, if they saw some of the stuff I had to say, like more emphasis on Magic or Hardcore Skyrim mode, this could really do wonders for the game. I should become a Elder Scrolls consultant.
Dave: If you did, I would just stop playing immediatly, because I know your going to make sure to put a quest that reveals a new Daedric Lord which is you and I would have to do some menial task like give you a bath or give you a foot massage or something and your just going to be laughing the entire time.
Madman97: I would probably do that. Well, it looks we are about done here. Dave thank you for coming as always.
To the Audience, JOIN EBONHEART PACT!!! I WANT YOU, TO BE MY CANNON FODDER TO THROW AT CYRODIL'S DEFENSES SO I CAN SWOOP IN AT THE LAST MOMENT AND KILL THE LAST GUY SO I CAN BECOME EMPEROR!!!
Dave: Or you could just join the Daggerfall Covenant...Something to consider...