Damn it, I can't...I can't stay away any longer. I tried, I really did, but...I just can't resist. It's been a while everyone, but I'm back, because i'm not the blogger this website deserves...but the one it needs...to, err, rant about sh*t. Because ranting is an effective way of complaining and gets the stress out when you can at least have a laugh about it. Sadly, there is nothing to laugh about with this game. I didn't just come back because I felt like it, I came back because I got my hands on a copy of the Elder Scrolls Online for PC while over at a buddy's place, (Mike, if you remember him from the Game of Riddles blog. He made a brief cameo and I locked him in a cage), and tried it out for myself. After hours of playing, I found my rant senses tingling, and I knew...the god of rants must return to save you sorry souls who have not played the Elder Scrolls Online, even though the majority of people I know on this site already have. Poor, poor men and women. But you console peasants out there, watch out for this, because this game probably had more problems than Skyrim did, and I got three whole seasons just from that. Let's not waste any more time and discuss the first mistake ESO ever made. And, joining me today is Dave, everyone's favorite most hated blog writer on this site.
Dave: And Madman97, most hated loremaster on this site!
Madman97: Indeed, indeed, it is a wonderful day in Conneticut as of right now, the sky is mildly sunny and college is just about to get out and I am recieiving a Bachelors degree in English literature and one for journalism, (go me), but you people arn't here for that. Dave, without further ado-Please, just do it. I need my fix.
Dave: You know what really grinds our Wabbajack's? Multiplayer integration in the Elder Scrolls universe.
Madman97: My playthrough of ESO was shocking, to say the least. While it's certainly not a terrible game, I'm sure Zenimax worked very hard on it, it certainly isn't one worth paying all that extra sh*t for. But those rants are for another time. No, the main problem and the first problem that arose here was the actual integration of multiplayer. Earlier in 2013, I did a rant on how we SHOULD put multiplayer in, maybe enhancing the quality of gameplay and certainly could be an interesting idea, but it was met with mixed responses and to be completely honest, I didn't really want it either, I just needed another episode before I could do the finale. And that's the thing. No one wanted it. No one cared about multiplayer in the Elder Scrolls. However, personal opinion never really mattered to companies anyway unless it was a MASSIVE uproar, which ESO wasn't, at least until people actually played the game, and even then the fanbase is still mostly divided in opinion, though neither side has devolved into a ranting raging @$$hole argument...until now. However, no side has yet to oppose me, as Dave has expressed a dislike for the game as well.
Dave: Yeah, Angry Joe sums it up really well actually. If you guys have have the time, look his review up on Youtube, it hits every point. Spoilers for the rest of this season though.
Madman97: Though I will do my best not to plagerize Angry Joe, he does bring up damn fine points. But in his review he shows that PvP multiplayer is real hot sh*t, while to be honest, I thought it was a bit wonky. Ok, ok, ok, a new MMO is expected to have some problems. But when these problems persist with no end, it starts to reflect badly on Zenimax. Multiplayer in this game downright sucked. I'll give you an example, and this is an obvious one but it's something I should at least address once. Dungeon camping. Christ in a biscuit, this was horrendous. Everyone has done this. For those who don't know, say you're in a dungeon and you need to go fetch the thing for the guy and fight the thing and the hey and the what. However, due to the game's multiplayer properties, more than one person can go into a dungeon for the same quest. It's like the goddamn Hunger Games, trying to be the first to bring down a monster you're supposed to kill or grab the item you need before anyone else. It would actually be fun competing for the end of the quest if it wasn't SO F*CKING ANNOYING! There's people actually waiting in line to get their turn to slay the beast so they can get the hell out of a cave they've been stuck in for three hours because people kept beating them to the punch.
Dave: (sigh) I full on agree. This has actually become such a huge problem that Zenimax sends in gamemasters to stop the "Bots" as they are called, or boss harvesters that don't allow other players to prgress because they keep killing the bosses or taking the items for gold or something. This subject deserves a blog by itself. And that's not the only problem with the multiplayer. The inefficiancy really shows in the Dungeon Camping though.
Madman97: Nope! Go one Dave, tell about the other ones.
Dave: One of the marketing gags in Zenimax used for this game was that you could play with your buddies in a Skyrim like setting, something I thought would be pretty cool at first. Conquering Cyrodil with your best buds? I thought, sign me up! However, when questing through the rest of Tamriel, and I wanted to play with others, but my friend had already completed the quest I was in, I found him vanish as I walked into the area of the quest.
Madman97: Note that this was specifically my problem as I am the only one who played it, but I didn't want Dave to feel left out. It's true, your questing and that of your friend's must be in perfect sync with one another if you wish to be playing together for the duration of the game. What a total f*cking jip.
Dave: Or how abou when ESO doesn't even really encourage fun co-op gameplay when your not in PvP?
Madman97: Precisely Davy. It seems the only time multiplayer actually works is when a bunch of people come together and hammer it out in Cyrodil but anywhere else, WHERE MOST OF THE F*CKING GAME TAKES PLACE, it's one screw-up after another. I remember getting in a group to take down the Molag Bal Portal things, which was dissapointing but that's a story for another episode, and the lack of reward after breating said portal completely dissolved the little band of merry men we had going on that could have gone great places had only the stupid game rewarded us a little more. The point is, the game lacks the incentive to drive people to play multiplayer. I slowly devolved into a mostly single player playthrough, which is what the Elder Scrolls should have been in the first place. I feel like this is like the latter Call of Duty series. One company makes the awesome games like Black Ops 2, and another makes one like Ghosts, which sucked in my opinion, but then again the Call of Duty series was never the best anyway.
Dave: We're Halo fans.
Madman97: But Skyrim is Black Ops 2 and ESO is Ghosts, a sellout that paints itself as an Elder Scrolls game to draw all the nerds to its call. But if you really wanted to put something so bold as Multiplayer in a largely single player franchise, you have to do it right, and for the mos part, this game did it wrong. It did A LOT of things wrong, and you can be sure to hear about them soon in the coming months. But in the dark of this sh*tbomb of a game, there is a light. Ranting about it is at least fun. It's good to finally be back, and I will see you all soon. The Renessaince of this dead Blog section has begun.
Dave: And don't forget Blog Critic!
Madman97: Yeah, we can't forget your pile of sh*t blogs! I'll see you guys later. Stay Ranty.